I haven’t had a boyfriend or been on a proper date in about four, going on five years now. It seems like over the last week or so, my love life or lack there of has been a source of confusion for many. My friends want to know why I’m not dating, and every time I get a chance to talk to my mom or my granny or anyone from back home, they want to know if I’ve finally met someone yet?

To them it’s almost like something doesn’t add up. “Well Amber, you’re this, you’re that, you’ve got this going for you…” The list grows long and my flesh tries its best to convince me that I’m not enough. That allowing the Holy Spirit to set my standards is getting in my way, that maybe I’m not a “good thing” to be found and made a wife.

If I entertain these thoughts and allow myself to get caught up in what everyone else wants for me, I would be doing myself an extreme disservice.

Not only am I loved by THE most high God, but he truly cares for and provides for me. Though I will never be enough he has called me his own and shown me a mercy and grace that will surely keep me indebted to him all the days of my life. I can rest in knowing that even if I never date or court or marry anyone, that my worth is solely predicated on God’s love for me and nothing else.

The joy that I have in Christ is unspeakable, and even when I may want to throw myself a pity party or question why singleness is my portion, I’m reminded that he is more than enough. The Bible says in Psalms 16:5, that Jesus is my inheritance. This makes me one of the richest women alive and I couldn’t be more grateful for having such a perfect and flawless leader of love orchestrating my life.

So the next time you’re feeling real single or possibly even lonely focus on the one who is vying for your attention, Jesus. Shower your love and affection upon him, binge read your bible, color unto him, sing unto him, tell him all about your dreams, goals, aspirations and desires. Make him your everything. Because well…he is everything and longs for our eternal relationship to start with him right now.

Amber D.

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I love babies, like I really love them. When I see them, my little heart skips a beat and I want to have one of my own. A gummy creature who smiles at the sound of my voice and kicks their legs in excitement when they see me enter a room. Someone to depend on me and someone to love affectionately and unconditionally.

But I digress, I’m single as a dollar bill (and content, might I add) and don’t spend much time thinking about my future as a mother, Lord willing. I’m not even in a courtship so to waste tons of time fantasizing about being a mommy right now is silly. Plus, in all actuality I would like to be married for a few years, learning how to best serve my husband before adding children to the equation. (Can you tell that I’ve planned this all out in my head, sans having a man?)

Anyway, I was praying this morning and when it came time to pray for my cousin David I could not stop smiling and laughing.

As an undergrad at Florida State College at Jacksonville, I watched my Aunt Sylvia’s baby named David almost everyday after school. I have memories of taking him to the park, singing him songs, dancing with his little squishy body pressed into mine, an easy laugh bubbling up from his belly after a warm bottle of milk.

My favorite memory of baby Dave is one where I was finishing up some homework and I could hear some rustling from his crib. I put my calculator and notebook away and slowly opened the door so that I wouldn’t scare him.

When he saw me entering the room, a smile broke out across his little face and he immediately reached out for me. I showered his little face in kisses and asked him all about his dreams and if he enjoyed his nap. He couldn’t talk but I just knew that he’d had great dreams. He was such a happy baby.

Fast forward through undergrad and it’s time for me to leave for the University of Central Florida. I remember thinking to myself that David was going to forget who I was. He would no longer see me everyday. He would go to daycare and make new friends and have new care givers and all I would have  are my memories of us, and his little mind would forget. My prayer to the Lord before I left Jacksonville was that David would remember me.

While I was away, baby Dave grew older and I wasn’t able to make it home as much, but when I did, he knew EXACTLY who I was. I was greeted with kisses and hugs and he could walk and say my name and he knew exactly who I was.

Anytime I talk to my Aunt Sylvia or my granny they tell me stories of how David talks about how much he loves me and that I’m his girlfriend (his mother makes sure he knows we can’t get married because I’m his cousin.) The last time I visited his house, wedged in the little mirror in his bedroom was a picture of me that he was so proud to show me. “It’s you!” He beamed looking up at me, just in case I didn’t recognize myself.

He’s getting older, his affection is very short lived before he runs off to play with the other kids his age but he knows who Amber is and he loves her very much, but not as much as I love him.

I shared this story to show you all how faithful God is. The majority of the time that I spent with David was doing things that he will probably never remember and couldn’t even verbalized at the time. But God was faithful to my one request. David has remembered and loved me for a long time and if God can be faithful in something so small that he knew would bring me great joy, he can do the same for you.

I believe the experiences I’ve had with baby Dave and other children have only shaped and given me glimpses into what motherhood would be like and I’m so thankful to have those memories and God’s faithfulness to show me that my time spent with baby David was not in vein.

Don’t forget to rejoice in the small things. God is faithful and so worthy to be praised.

Amber

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I consider myself to be an extremely nostalgic person. I like to relive my memories, thinking about them as I drive down the street, or as I wash the dishes. My favorites are the good ones. The times I laughed until I cried, the times someone complimented me randomly at the grocery store or the times when I was just having a good time, being myself, comfortable and free.

The other side of nostalgia is that not all of my past memories are worth reliving, yet I find myself reliving them sometimes anyways. Mistakes made in front of an audience, tears shed about things that were out of my control, and being heartbroken about things that I could not fix or mend.

I like to review situations and memories from my life with the Holy Spirit, asking him to show me myself and how I could have done better concerning others. Sometimes we just laugh about what I may have said or did and I can move on. Other times I wrack my brain playing the scenario over and over again in my mind, trying to figure out where things fell apart.

I’m now realizing what a distraction my nostalgia can be. Sometimes it may prevent me from fully moving on, forgiving others, or releasing myself from the high prison of expectation and standards that I’ve built around certain aspects of my life.

I must remember that my mercies are made new everyday and that I have the opportunity to make new memories with the Lord. To laugh new laughs and to press through new challenges, while relying on God to see me through.

So before spending precious time daydreaming in the past or beating yourself up about things that you could have done better, be proactive and move on. No one is perfect, all we can do is strive to be better than we were yesterday and to continue to let Holy Spirit sanctify us daily.

So rest and stop thinking about the past so much! God’s future plan for your life is so much more important!

Be encouraged!

Amber

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Have you ever had a boss that you absolutely could not stand? An immediate supervisor who never empowered you to do well? Have you ever felt mistreated, underpaid, and insecure about your ability and skill set on the job? If you’ve been working for any amount of time you may have seen or experienced many of these things. Dealing with difficult people, personalities, and various leadership styles on the job can be tough. I’ve personally experienced being belittled, talked about, and plain mistreated while working full time in the past.

One of the greatest verses I believe that we can use to direct our paths as we journey through our career life is Colossians 3:23. “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

When I first heard this verse taught in church I scrambled to take notes, promising to go back and read it in context. I wanted to memorize it, meditate on it, and ask God how I could better serve on my job. The main focus in this verse is bringing your service on the job to a level that you would serve the Lord with.

I know if Jesus asked me to organize all of the pens in color order and make sure that the business logo was facing outward, I would do so:

• With a SMILE on my face. I am eager to do WHATEVER it is that he asked me simply because he is EVERYTHING. He is King and I want to please him.
• I would do so as soon as possible. So if that means leaving an e-mail that doesn’t have to go out right away, or taking my lunch a few minutes later than usual, you’ll find me arranging pens. Now if Jesus says that I can finish what I’m doing first, I would ask him if he’s sure, and if he is, I can complete the task that he asked me about with a SMILE, because I’m happy to serve him after wrapping up what I previously had going on.

The idea behind working as unto the Lord is that your level of service is at its highest because you are serving the LIVING GOD. You immediately want to give your best efforts because its Jesus you’re serving, not some silly human.

My favorite thing about working as unto the Lord, is giving myself the opportunity to please him. So while I may be doing what my boss asks me to do, my objective is to do it with such excellence and integrity that my service is not only appreciated, but exemplary. I want my service to stand out so much so that there is no one else like me on the staff. I want my boss to be confident in my ability and know that I am reliable and trustworthy, but most importantly I want the Lord to know that the driving force behind my level of service is pleasing him.

In working as unto the Lord, we are seeking first the kingdom of heaven, and righteousness and everything else will be added unto us because we have decided to serve outside of situation, circumstance, treatment, or our pay rates. The only time that I would ever encourage you to leave a work situation instead of working as unto the Lord and pressing through adversity is if you are physically being abused. You have not been hired, for anyone to put their hands on you and I don’t think that anyone should stay in a physically abusive situation on the job, or otherwise.

There are several things that you can do to remind yourself that your purpose is so much larger than your 9-5 job. When the going got tough in the past for me, I would write the word “Eternity” across the palm of my hand, so that every time I was made to feel small, or was feeling like I didn’t want to be excellent, I remembered that my life was so much more important than what I was doing, but to do it excellently anyway. I also wasn’t afraid to pull away and go vent to God, or worship and praise him in the bathroom stall. Sometimes tensions are high, our work days are running long, and we just need to recharge in the presence of God. Some days I didn’t get it right. I may have snapped back at a co-worker who had spoken to me in a terse tone all day, or maybe I wasn’t so eager to help someone who I knew would never take the time to help me. But recognizing those moments within myself is what I use as motivation to get it right the next time!

The good news is that when you’re consistent your efforts will always be recognized. Honestly the only recognition that I want is God’s because he will reward me so much greater than any man ever could in his own power. (And that’s not to say that God won’t use your boss to promote you or give you a bonus for all of your hard work!)

Just stay focused and try and get it right. We all make mistakes, just remember to own the good and the bad, repent of your ways and move forward working as unto the Lord. You’ll be glad you did!

Have a GREAT day at work tomorrow!

Amber D. Avery

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I recently had lunch with a beautiful young lady who has been through a lot in her life. Listening to stories of her life was insane. It was testimony, after testimony, after testimony of God’s faithfulness and loving kindness toward her. I was nearly brought to tears a few different times as we sat nestled at a table in the corner of a busy cafe.

There was one testimony in particular that she shared with me, and it sounded like she was telling my story. My story of heartbreak, my story of immaturity, my story of pain and condemnation. I could have never imagined my situation getting any worst than it was while I was in it, and to hear her testimony and how much it mirrored my own was mind blowing. What broke my heart even more is that had I stayed in the situation that I was in, the trajectory of my life would have looked a whole lot different than the young woman that God has helped me become today.

The difference between my testimony and the young lady that shared hers with me was that I got out sooner than she did. I just knew that in the depths of my soul, had I stayed in that relationship my life’s trajectory would have looked a whole lot like her’s did when she went through one of the toughest times of her life.

Our testimony’s are neither here nor there, and God has shown himself extremely faithful and loving toward us both, having restored broken hearts, destroyed self esteems, and shattered mentalities.

After having lunch with her, I wondered what I was allowing to shape the trajectory of my life. Sure I’ve been delivered from some pretty trying things, but what was I doing now, and in which direction was my life headed? What have I done with the freedom that Christ has given me? What am I doing with the victory that Christ has won for me? Am I taking advantage of every day to grow closer to God and to the things that he has called me to do? What’s keeping me from slowly slipping toward that path of heartbreak that I was stumbling down, those years ago? God’s grace, no doubt, but I have to take accountability.

I have to be accountable for the things that I say and the things that I do. I have to be intentional in spending time with God, engaging and listening for his voice. There are so many factors that shape our lives, our temperaments and personalities, and if we’re not careful the very things that Christ has set us free from will begin to crop back up in our lives, stifling the good fruit that he has helped us cultivate while walking with him.

So take a moment and get quiet before the Holy Spirit. Silence your phone, turn off the t.v., remove all distraction. Take a look over your life whether it be the last year, month, week, or few days. Take an inventory of where you’ve been headed, whether it be emotionally, the things that you’ve physically moved to do, and ultimately if you feel God can be pleased with your actions. Just be honest in your assessment and tell God what’s on your mind. He already knows, but a part of forming a relationship is sharing your innermost thoughts with him. If you truly want to change and want God to help you, he will. The trajectory of our lives is based solely on what we’re doing and who we’re serving.

Are you doing what you can in this day to serve God and move in a direction that’s bringing you closer to him?

Amber D.

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“To the faithful you show yourself, faithful.” Psalms 18:25

I’m in the process of breaking this habit where I really get in to a groove with my prayer life, spending time with God and experiencing these euphoric highs of peace and being led by the spirit…only to ride said high as long as I can before engaging with God again, consistently.

It’s like eating all day Monday and relying on all of your fuel from that day to power all of your workouts for the rest of the week, it’s impossible. There are certain carb, protein and fat ratios that you want to consume DAILY to get the best results out of your time spent in the gym.

I believe that my walk with God should be the same in a sense. We always talk about wanting to see God do great things in our lives, to have blessings, peace and a close relationship with him, but our actions don’t reflect this desire. My prayer all year has been that God will show me ways in which I can demonstrate my love for him. I can tell God that I love him all day everyday, but are my actions telling him that I truly love and revere him? What exactly am I doing daily to show him that I love him?

Because I spend a significant amount of time out in the world, working, working out, grocery shopping, attending church, or whatever else, there’s a chance that I could very well go an entire day without awknowledging God. I was chatting with a new friend over lunch the other day and she told me about a time when she and her friends were all describing what a “perfect day” would be like in their eyes. After all of the women had shared, they realized that none of them had mentioned God in their “perfect days” at all.

While this speaks volumes, you also want to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s kind of like sitting around with girlfriends and talking about your dream husband and no one mentions that they want him to be born again or saved. Among your group of friends you already know that your husband being a man after God’s own heart is a MUST so it’s disregarded in conversation and we giggle about other things like how tall and handsome we hope our husbands will be. But I digress, if we’re describing our “perfect days” and we proclaim to know and love Christ why wouldn’t we mention him?

I can honestly say that I have found the most success in my career and walk with God when: A) I’ve saught God daily, praying and worshipping and spending time reading my bible. B) When I’ve taken the iniciative to go the extra mile in service, standing firm in my integrity and focusing on my own personal performance. He always looks out for me, even when it doesn’t seem or feel like it.

So why do I continue to go through this cycle of being hot and then cold in my efforts to cultivate and grow a meaningful relationship with God?

Maturity. Desire, but mostly maturity. The difference between the man who has and the man who has not is often because one of them is consistently doing something that the other is not, whether he feels like it or not. He is mature enough to know that certain habits and living a certain lifestyle will yield results in spite of his feelings or emotions. My life isn’t a contest between me and others who are in the faith, but a test of my stamina in this race of life.

I believe that if I continue to stay in constant communion with the Lord, that I will broaden my possibilities of hearing from him, and obeying what I hear on a more consistent basis. I would love to say that the content on this website is birthed from sheer desire and dedication but often times I post because I feel led to, or I experience something exciting in life that Holy Spirit gives me perspective on. This website was dormant for months on end because I wasn’t spending quality time with God and didn’t feel inspired to write or have any idea as to what I should be writing about. Now that I’ve become more consistent in seeking God, I’ve found that hearing his voice and producing content is not only easier than I thought, but I enjoy doing it.

We must strive to continue to submit our selfishness unto the Lord, seeking him faithfully in all things. As I meditate of Psalms 1:1-6 today and tonight, I pray that you too will take an opportunity to get consistent and faithful, and to remain that way, well into the new year!

With love,

Amber D.

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This week I’ve noticed just how haphazzard I can be with my body sometimes. Stubbing my toes, scraping my hands, breaking my nails as I reach quickly for things. I wouldn’t consider myself to be a clumsy person, but if I don’t begin paying more attention to my movements and being intentional when I go to do things, I’m going to continue to beat myself up.

It reminds me of our relationship with God. Often times we look up wondering how we find ourselves in precarious situations, only to find that had we spent a little more time in prayer, had we been a little more intentional in really understanding what we were getting ourselves in to, certain bruises could have been avoided.

I’m learning to pace myself and to be aware of my movements. When I think of being graceful and poised as I move, I’m much less likely to stub my toe, or smack my hand on the back of a nearby chair as I walk past it. When we pace ourselves, seeking God’s confirmation on something important or rest in his presence just to feel renewed, we are covered by his grace. The things that may have hurt us, don’t and the path toward destruction has taken a peaceful turn toward the will that God has for our lives. God’s grace is so amazing that even when we’re not in constant communication or seeking after him as we should, he still covers us with his grace because he is that good. (Don’t take advantage of him!)

So as I remind myself to slow down, I encourage you to do the same. Get back to being consistent in your prayer life, study and read your bible, support those in the body of Christ who have written supplemental materials to aid you in your walk with Christ.

Its kind of like when I have a really great work out in the gym. I don’t regret going, or getting one step closer to my summer body. I’m always glad that I took another step in the right direction toward my goals! And prayer is the same way. Also throw away the idea that you have to be in your prayer closet for hours on end. Be sincere in reaching out to your Abba father, give him your undivided attention (yes that means turning the tv off and silencing your phone) and just ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray concerning the things that God has in store for your life and pour your heart out. Knock on the door every day until God gives you an answer. It may not be the answer you want but he is faithful to answer you, Amen?

So stop beating yourself up and get intentional about being graceful in all things and aware of what God is doing in your life! 🙂

Love you!

Amber D.

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